Figuring out who will pay the bills each month is an important conversation most couples have when they are first married. It seems that who ever takes on that assignment keeps that role for most of the marriage. However, if you’re not paying the bills, you don’t know where the money is going. If one person is making most or all of the money, does that person get to make most or all of the financial decisions?
At a minimum you may want to have regular household meetings complete with some bookkeeping software or other spreadsheets so that the person writing the checks and paying the bills can keep the other one up to speed. It may be very useful to handing the family finance controls back and forth at the beginning of each year.
Looking at bills can be a headache, but there’s no better way to get a sense of your family finances. If you’ve done that during your marriage and now find yourself facing divorce, you at least know where the money’s been going. Coming up with a measurement of lifestyle while married is a starting point for discussions around what you might require to maintain “similar” lifestyle once your divorced and on your own.