DIVORCE TALKS – GREY DIVORCE

For many people, the thought of divorce is overwhelming. Not surprising when you consider that almost all married people centre their lives around their spouse, their children and their home. Divorce changes all of that. It depends on how you approach the situation, who you talk to, and how motivated you are to protect the dignity, integrity and long term interests of your family.

Divorce Talks is a series of live sessions for people who are thinking about, or in the process of, getting a divorce. Mutual Solutions, an association between Eva Sachs and Marion Korn, a family law lawyer, hosts every Divorce Talks session. These sessions help someone considering separation gain an understanding of the decisions they will need to make, and how to move to a positive outcome for everyone. Knowing what must happen, what can happen, and what your options are will make a huge difference in the outcome for you and your family.

Our next Divorce Talks session is Tues July 17th where we will be discussing the unique issues for couples separating later in life.  For the new generation of   ”empty – nesters”, divorce is increasingly common. Though overall divorce rates have declined since spiking in the 1980s, there has been a rise in “grey divorce”. The issues are significantly different  for someone in their 50’s or older than someone in their 30’s or 40’s.

If you or someone you know, is considering a divorce, join us for a conversation. Eva and Marion will talk about the things that matter the most when thinking about separation and divorce – finances, kids, and your future.

For details, go to http://mutualsolutions.ca/divorce-talk/

 

Now that I’m divorcing …where did the money go?

Figuring out who will pay the bills each month is an important conversation most couples have when they are  first  married.  It seems that who ever takes on that  assignment  keeps  that role  for most of the marriage. However, if you’re not paying the bills, you don’t know where the  money is going.  If one person is making most or all of the money, does that person get to make most or all of the financial decisions?

At a minimum you may want to have regular household meetings complete with  some bookkeeping software  or other spreadsheets so that the person writing the checks and paying the bills  can keep the other one up to speed. It may be very useful to  handing the   family finance controls back and forth at the beginning of each year.

Looking at bills can be a headache, but there’s no better way to get a sense of your family finances.  If you’ve  done that during your marriage and  now find yourself facing divorce, you at least know where the money’s been going.    Coming up with a measurement of  lifestyle  while married is a starting point  for  discussions around what you might require to maintain “similar” lifestyle once your divorced and on your own.

How do I know if I need Financial Advice in my Divorce?

By Eva Sachs CFP CDFA

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Founder of Women in Divorce Financial

“  I just want what’s fair …I just want what I’m entitled to.”

If it was just that easy, divorce lawyers & courts wouldn’t be busy.

My  approach for divorcing women is from the perspective “ what  do I need to be OK?”

I believe that most divorcing women do want to arrive at a settlement that works for both partners. What’s missing in most divorces processes is financial expertise.

How do you know if you need financial advice in your divorce?

If any one of the situations listed below is your case, you have good reason to get some expert financial advice

  • You don’t understand your situation
  • You have a good income and a busy schedule, so you would be better off if someone else did the paperwork
  • You want to be sure you’re doing the right thing and have the confidence of knowing it’s being done right
  • The division of marital assets and debts is unequal
  • Home or real estate  is being kept to sell later
  • Major asset is being divided or sold
  • One or both spouses are self-employed owners

With expert financial advice early in the divorce process, women can increase their chances for arriving at a settlement that works.

Are you Financially Prepared for Divorce?

By Eva Sachs CFP CDFA

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Founder of Women in Divorce Financial

 “Why didn’t I pay more attention to our family finances?”

I frequently hear this from women who find themselves facing divorce.  This is the time for women to start to make constructive and knowledgeable decisions about their money and their future. It’s never too late to get started.

Here are some steps you can take to get financial prepared for your divorce. (Frankly it’s good advice even if you aren’t facing divorce)

Pay Attention to the Household Finances
You should attend meetings with insurance agents, accountants, financial planners and lawyers. You should also look over monthly bank statements and credit-card bills. Ask about your husband’s company benefits including bonuses, other “perks”,  company pensions, and other savings  plans, etc. Keep a list of all bank and brokerage accounts and insurance policies.

Don’t lose your Financial Identity
You always want to maintain your own credit identity. Check if your credit cards are in your own name or if you are simply an authorized user as a lack of credit history can work against you.  You should have three bank accounts (his, hers and ours) and maintain separate credit cards.

Keep Your Skills Fresh
While you might welcome the chance to stay home with your kids, the longer you’re out of the work force, the harder it can be to jump back in. Women often face lowball wages or lower job titles when they try to return to work after a long hiatus.

Save for Retirement
Many married women don’t make retirement-saving a priority. If the husband is the primary wage earner, the wife often trusts her spouse to save enough for their collective golden years. A woman spending her retirement savings, (sometime all on legal fees),   is particularly distressing considering that women, on average, live six years longer than men.

Get Financial Guidance
When women are going through a divorce, they need to determine which assets will help them pay their bills and reach their long-term goals. Too many women fight for the home to avoid uprooting their children, only to find that they don’t have the cash flow to pay for it.

Divorce is not only the end of a marriage but it is the breakup of an economic unit. Financial awareness will go a long way to help you feel more in control and better equipped to make reasoned decisions.