“Lay all your desires out before each other —where do you want to end up? Set goals and be willing to compromise at times. Be honest even when it hurts —that’s how you learn to trust each other. Budget. Regularly save, no matter how little…”
– Kate Bryant from the Marriage Partnership Magazine article, ‘Holy Matri-Money’
Written by Steve Nyvik, BBA, MBA, CIM, CFP, R.F.P.
Financial Planner and Portfolio Manager, Lycos Asset Management Inc.
Statistics Canada no longer collects data on divorce rates. The 2011 survey concluded that 43.1% of all marriages are expected to end in divorce before a couple reaches their 50th anniversary. As to reasons why people divorce, depending on the survey you look at, you’ll typically find money issues amongst the top three reasons.
Many arguments over money are related to misunderstandings or miscommunications on spending priorities. Where two people who love and respect each other sit down and look together over their financial situation and come to an agreement on their spending priorities, many issues can be resolved. And once these priorities are established, it’s fairly easy to establish a workable money management system.
Should spending later get off-course, it’s then easy to identify what threw things off, confirm or update the budget and spending and saving priorities, and come to an agreement on future spending.
Spenders, Savers and Budgets
I remember when I was an 11 year old boy receiving $1.00 for cutting the front lawn. That dollar bill burned a hole in my pocket until I had it spent. My dad would tell me to put away half of it so that I’d have some money to spend some other time. But within a short time of receiving that dollar it would be spent. Then when I wanted something special, I never had the money.
Eventually, I took my dad’s advice and developed the habit of saving and I began to appreciate having cash in the bank. I was able to look at my spending as a decision on how I could get the greatest satisfaction from my money through time. I learned to think about what I really needed (‘the necessities’) and what things I could live without. And I learned to spend on things that would last (and hopefully go up in value) versus instant gratification.
In many respects, a ‘saver’ is basically someone who has learned to budget for their needs through time and routinely sets aside a portion of their earnings for savings. The routine eventually becomes a habit. And the money one took from the paycheque isn’t even felt as missed spending.
When I think of a ‘spender’ I think of the character of “Carrie Bradshaw” on the television show, “Sex and the City”. She’d get such gratification on buying a pair of Manolo shoes even though she had a closet full. But when it came to something important, like buying her apartment, she didn’t have any cash in her bank account nor could she qualify for a loan.
I think had Carrie examined the big picture of her life and the importance of owning your own home, she might have been able to set aside money for a down payment instead of putting it toward shoes that she didn’t need. In other words, I think many spenders can become savers.
The union of two people to become one family should by definition include a union of spending and saving goals. To begin the process, a budget is a helpful tool (see template below) to see where the family money goes and what’s leftover. Then over a few glasses of wine, the couple can think of their future and decide together on goals and then how to fund them. Included within the budget should be some “mad money” for some fun. If the budget is too tight, it is more likely than not that the budget will get broken.
My wife can tell you that she detests the idea of having a budget, but you know, once you have separated out the budget necessaries and savings from the “mad money”, it becomes relatively easy to manage. And where a spender knows how much they have to spend for fun and non-necessities and that’s all for the month, the system can work out. But the spender has to know that a credit card shouldn’t be used if there is no money in the “mad money bank account”.
Should a person consider ‘violating’ the budget, ideally that person has first talked with their spouse to agree on such spending to avoid conflict. A slip can happen, but if it is more than occasional, you then don’t have a workable budget. Alternatively, the slipper might not be in agreement with the budget, the goals, or maybe the slipper might need to get away from credit cards and just spend cash for awhile and learn to live at the living standard.
BUDGET CASHFLOW |
NAME: |
DATE: |
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AMOUNT / MONTH |
TOTAL |
INCOME SOURCE |
HUSBAND |
WIFE |
/ MONTH |
Employment Income |
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Company Dividends |
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Company Shareholder Loan Draws |
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Company After-Tax Retained Funds |
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Allowance to Non-Working Spouse |
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TOTAL >>> |
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AMOUNT / MONTH |
TOTAL |
EXPENSE ALLOCATION |
HUSBAND |
WIFE |
/ MONTH |
LIVING EXPENSES: |
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Groceries |
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Eating Out |
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Clothing |
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Beauty (Cosmetics, Haircuts, etc.) |
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Medical (treatments) |
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Prescriptions |
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Dental |
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Fitness |
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Help (lawn service, gardener, housekeeper) |
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Senior’s Care |
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Miscellaneous (Dry cleaning, gifts, etc.) |
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HOUSING EXPENSES: |
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Rent / Mortgage Payments (Principal & Interest) |
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Property Taxes |
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Property Insurance |
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Gas, Hydro, Water & Sewage |
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Phone, Cable, Internet |
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Maintenance & Repairs / Strata |
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Major Appliances / Furniture |
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Home Renovation |
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LEISURE EXPENSES: |
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Vacations (incl. Travel Insurance) |
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Health Club Memberships |
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Golf, Boat, Other |
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Recreational Property: |
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Property Insurace |
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Property Tax |
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Maintenance & Repairs |
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Major Appliances / Furniture |
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Other: ___________________________ |
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TRANSPORTATION: |
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Auto Insurance |
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Gas & Oil |
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Maintenance & Repair |
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Parking |
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Replacement Fund |
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Other (taxi, bus, plane, trains, boats) |
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PAYROLL |
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Income Tax withholdings |
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CPP |
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EI |
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MSP |
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Extended Healthcare & Dental |
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Short Term Disability |
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Long Term Disability Insurance |
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Dental |
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Other: ___________________________ |
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BUSINESS / PROFESSIONAL |
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Professional Liability Insurance |
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Professional / Union Dues |
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Convention |
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MISCELLANEOUS: |
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Income Tax Instalments |
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Accountant Fees (eg. Tax Preparation) |
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Bank Service Charges |
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Support (Alimony, Child Support, Parental Assistance) |
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Private Insurance (Life, Disability Critical Illness, Long Term Care) |
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Children College Education / Assistance |
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Grandchildren College Education / Assistance |
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Donations |
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TOTAL EXPENSES |
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SAVINGS: |
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Company Savings |
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RRSP Contributions |
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TFSA Contributions |
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Pension Plan Contributions |
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Company After-Tax Retained Funds |
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Unallocated Savings |
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TOTAL >>> |
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