Woman lost $600K to a scam 10 years ago and gave financial control to her daughter as recovery — who now refuses to give it back

To help her recover, Marie’s daughter completely took over her finances. Every month, Marie gets a monthly allowance for groceries, gas and medication. Her rent is covered when it’s due, and if something unexpected comes up, such as a car repair or a dentist bill, she gets an extra transfer. It’s a system that’s worked well enough that Marie has managed to save US$200,000. Now, she wants access to this money to use it as a down payment on a condo or townhouse (1).

But her daughter won’t hand back the reins, worried that history might repeat itself.

“I want this arrangement to stop,” Marie said. “I’ve asked her several times and she’s just not inclined to do so — she still doesn’t trust me.”

So how does Marie take back control of her money without blowing up her relationship with her daughter? That’s where hosts Jade Warshaw and Rachel Cruze helped her sort out the issue.

Romance scams cost Canadians millions

Marie is far from alone. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC) recorded more than C$58 million lost to romance scams from just over 1,000 reported victims in 2024 — and that figure is really only the tip of the iceberg (2). The organization estimates that only 5% to 10% of fraud victims ever report, meaning the real numbers are likely 10 to 20 times higher.

The scammer’s playbook is typical: They make contact on a dating app or social media platform. They’re charming, attentive and quick to build a connection. However, there’s always a reason they can’t meet, such as a military post, an offshore oil rig job or a construction project out of country — but the relationship feels real.

Then they ask for money for an emergency, or help with a blocked account or surprise medical bill. Sometimes it’s an offer for a too-good-to-be-true investment opportunity, often involving cryptocurrency.

Romance scams are now among the top 10 frauds reported to the CAFC, and they’re getting harder to identify (3). Bad actors can now use photos generated by artificial intelligence (AI), deepfake videos and voice cloning to make their false identities look and sound convincing.

Finding a balance between protection and control

Host Rachel Cruze acknowledges the difficult position both Marie and her daughter are in. Her advice: Rather than demand full control back all at once, Marie should work with her daughter to build a gradual plan, one with clear milestones, shared budgeting and bolstered by growing transparency.

If Marie has gone a full decade without any red flags, Cruze said, that track record is significant and should count for something. Moving toward independence doesn’t mean abandoning the safeguards that helped her rebuild — it means adjusting them as trust grows.

That said, Cruze was clear that there’s a big difference between a daughter looking out for her mother and a daughter making financial decisions for an adult who hasn’t asked for that management and control. If Marie and her daughter can’t find common ground, Marie may need to look at her legal options. A competent adult has the right to control her own finances, and no informal family arrangement can change that.

Rebuilding financial independence

If you find yourself a target of a romance scam similar to Marie, acting fast can limit the resulting damage. Here’s where to start:

Call your bank. If you’ve recently moved money, your bank may be able to reverse a transfer or freeze the account before more is lost.