51% of Canadian parents are still paying their adult kids' bills: RBC survey

If you’ve covered your adult kid’s rent or picked up their grocery bill this year, you’re in the majority. A new RBC survey finds 51% of Canadian parents with children aged 18 to 40 gave their adult kids financial help in the past year.

It’s not pocket change. Parents who helped gave an average of $6,151, and 24% handed over more than $10,000. And it isn’t just kids in their early 20s leaning on mom and dad — RBC found 21% of parents are still supporting children aged 30 to 34, and 19% are supporting kids as old as 35 to 40.

None of that support is free, though. Every dollar a parent sends an adult child is a dollar not going toward their own retirement, debt or emergency fund. Here’s what the survey found, and how to help without quietly wrecking your own finances.

What the money is actually going toward

Among parents who help their adult children, 56% put money toward groceries, 43% covered an unexpected or emergency expense, and 24% helped with rent. Another 21% chipped in for utilities, and 12% helped pay down credit card or other debt.

Why parents keep saying yes

The reasons go beyond money. Just over half of parents, 51%, say helping out is simply “what parents do,” while 35% point to the cost of living outpacing what their kids can manage alone. A quarter say they want their children to have opportunities they didn’t have growing up.

The cost to your own plan

It’s easy to treat this kind of help as a one-off. RBC’s own guidance suggests otherwise: the bank tells parents to put on their own “financial oxygen mask” first — covering essential expenses, an emergency fund, high-interest debt and retirement — before deciding what they can sustainably give their kids. The bank also recommends parents “diagnose before they fix”: figuring out whether an adult child’s struggle comes from overspending, low income or a genuine affordability problem, since each calls for a different response.

How to help without derailing your own retirement

• Set a dollar amount and an end date before agreeing to help, rather than leaving it open-ended
• Fund your own emergency savings and retirement contributions first, then decide what’s left over for your kids
• Ask what’s actually driving the request — a budgeting conversation solves an overspending problem, a bigger cheque doesn’t
• For larger amounts, put the terms in writing, even informally, so both sides know if it’s a gift or a loan
• Revisit the arrangement every few months instead of letting “just this once” quietly become permanent

The bottom line

The Bank of Mom and Dad isn’t charging interest, but it isn’t free either. Before your next transfer, ask the harder question: is this a bridge to your child’s independence, or a habit that’s replaced their own budget? The answer should decide how much you give, and for how long.