Dave Ramsey’s blunt advice: What to do when your spouse breaks their financial promises — and what Canadians should know

“I told him when we got married that we would combine our finances, follow Dave Ramsey, and then start paying off debt. So yesterday I said we should start paying off your credit cards and then start on your vehicle. And he’s just like, ‘That’s fine.’ I'm like, ‘But you got to promise me not to use them again.’ And he said, ‘No, I'm going to,’ because he doesn't see them as debt,” the caller told co-hosts Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze.

That attitude — dismissing credit card balances as something other than real debt — is more common than many couples realize, and it can quietly torpedo financial goals that took years to build.

What was Ramsey’s advice?

Ramsey noted how the disagreement over credit cards wasn’t really the issue. The real problem was what the husband’s behaviour said about how he viewed his wife and their partnership.

“What bothers me about this whole thing is not the issue of whether he thinks credit cards are debt or not,” Ramsey said. “The thing that bothers me is that you’ve married a guy that doesn’t give a crap about your opinion and can’t keep his word.”

Cruze agreed, noting how the caller’s husband is acting like a single person who doesn’t have to consider anyone else. “Sounds like he’s 14 years old,” Ramsey added.

Their advice? Don’t let this slide. Ramsey urged the caller to take the situation seriously and get into marriage counselling immediately. Cruze echoed that call, stressing how allowing the problem to fester only deepens the divide.

“I would bring in a third party as soon as possible, because if you let this linger, you guys will continue to create division in a new marriage that will continue on that way for a long time,” Cruze said.

Ramsey also raised the possibility of ending the marriage if things didn’t change — a serious consideration, but one he felt was worth mentioning. In Canada, civil annulments are extremely rare and courts seldom grant them; the legal path for dissolving a marriage is separation and divorce under Canada’s federal Divorce Act (2). For anyone in the early stages of a marriage in serious trouble, speaking with a family lawyer about their options is a crucial first step.

Moreover, money conflict is one of the leading contributors to marriage breakdown in Canada. Statistics Canada reports that roughly 40% of Canadian marriages end in divorce, and financial misalignment — including disagreements over debt, spending and shared goals — is consistently cited as a top driver (3).

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What Canadians need to know about debt and marriage

The average Canadian carries approximately $4,415 to $4,681 in credit card debt, according to the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada (FCAC) (4). Multiply that across two people entering a marriage with different financial habits and attitudes, and the gap can grow quickly.

Under Canadian family law, debt division at separation is a provincial matter — and the rules vary. In most provinces, debt you brought into the marriage generally remains yours. But debt accumulated jointly or in a spouse’s name for shared household expenses can be treated differently depending on the province. The federal Divorce Act governs the dissolution of marriages, while provincial legislation, such as Ontario’s Family Law Act or British Columbia’s Family Law Act, governs how property and debt are divided (5).

The short version: don’t assume your partner’s premarital debt automatically becomes your shared problem or that it stays entirely theirs once you’re married. If you’re combining finances, know what you’re merging.

How to make sure you and your partner are aligned on finances

Financial alignment with your partner isn’t only good for your bank account — it’s essential to the health of your relationship. Whether you’re engaged, newly married or a few years in, these steps can help.

Have the money conversation before marriage

If you haven’t yet had a detailed conversation about finances, have it now. Go beyond “how much debt do you have?” and get into values: How do you feel about credit cards? What does financial security mean to you? What are your long-term goals? If you’re already married and haven’t had this talk, make time for it immediately.

Consider the 3-account setup

Many couples — particularly those entering a marriage with established financial habits — find it helpful to maintain two individual accounts alongside a joint account for shared expenses such as rent/a mortgage, utilities and groceries. The individual accounts preserve each partner’s spending independence without requiring justification for every purchase. The joint account keeps shared financial goals on track.

Automate what you can

Once you’ve agreed on savings goals and a debt repayment plan, remove the friction. Set up automatic transfers to your joint accounts and any debt payoff plans. Less manual effort means fewer opportunities for disagreement — and saving tends to be easier when it happens before you see the money.

Check in with each other regularly

Your financial situation will shift over time — a new job, a pay raise, a baby, a layoff. Build in a financial check-in at least once a month, or whenever there’s a major life change, to confirm your plan still reflects where you both are. Think of it less like a formal budget meeting and more like a quick gut check: is this still working for us? What should we change?

Consider bringing in a third party

This is what Ramsey told the caller to do — and it’s good advice even before problems become serious. A fee-for-service financial planner with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) qualification regulated by FP Canada, or a couples counsellor with experience in financial conflict can help you surface disagreements before they become dealbreakers (6).

Financial conversations aren’t a one-and-done discussion. Think of them as an ongoing part of your relationship, as routine as any other check-in you do as a couple.

Canadians’ next steps

If you recognize yourself in this story — or want to get ahead of potential financial conflict — here are some places to start: