Woman says siblings taught their kids to call her “Big Money” since becoming debt-free — but Dave Ramsey says it’s no laughing matter

Suzy from Michigan says that she and her husband are in a good financial standing, having paid off all their debt and are mortgage-free. Unfortunately, she said her siblings have trained their young children to call them names and ask for money (1).

As a result, Ramsey offered some frank advice on what to do when your success affects family dynamics.

Financial jealousy in families

“My siblings … have started coaching their toddlers to call us ‘Big Money,’” Suzy wrote. “They encourage their children to say things like ‘Hey, Big Money, we want to go to Disney, so can you go and pay for us?’”

While initially taking it as a joke, it has kept up despite Suzy telling them repeatedly that she and her husband prefer to be called aunt and uncle rather than ‘Big Money.’ She’s also upset that her siblings expect her to host every family gathering, without contributing anything.

“I feel like this behavior is disrespectful,” Suzy explained. At the same time, she also said her siblings are “fragile,” so she isn’t sure exactly how to handle the situation.

Ramsey didn’t mince words: He told her to sit them down and say, “Your kids are being brats. Stop it. Seriously, stop it.”

When Cruze challenged him about whether he’d actually tell his family that their kids are brats, Ramsey stood firm.

“I might at least say, ‘They’re bratty. They’re being bratty,’” Ramsey revealed.

“And you’re teaching them this [behavior] and you shouldn’t.”

The podcast host affirmed that he felt the parents were “sending their kids to do their dirty work,” advising Suzy and her husband to nip in the bud. They recommended not only speaking up every time the nieces and nephews were acting out in this way, but also refusing to bear the full hosting costs moving forward, and setting firm boundaries around their money.

When money gets funny in families

Nazli Kibria, professor of sociology at Boston University, wrote in Psychology Today that problems with income gaps between siblings are common (2). Her research seeks to understand how money affects cross-class families, or ones where siblings make significantly different salaries. Kibria describes many common sources of conflict within this type of family dynamic, including:

• Gift giving when the value of gifts is unequal
• Loans between siblings
• Destructive patterns where the wealthier child is viewed as the “golden child”

She suggests that families identify these red flags and take steps to mitigate them, with practical advice like setting price limits on gifts or agreeing to no gift exchanges at all. In times of financial distress, they could also avoid loaning money and choose to gift it instead while also understanding each other and the different life paths each has taken.