Dec 4, 2025
A Utah father called The Ramsey Show with a problem that will sound familiar to a lot of families, even if most don’t have quite as many mouths to feed (1).
He and his wife have 11 children and, despite earning about US$200,000 (C$280,000) a year (roughly US$120,000 (C$167,000) after taxes and insurance), they’ve wracked up nearly US$50,000 (C$68,000) in debt over the last five years. The father told Dave Ramsey he blames the debt on activities for the children, which cost the family a little more than US$2,000 (C$2,800) a month.
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His wife, he said, has “stuck them in sports and extracurricular activities,” and refuses to pull them out, even as the bills pile up. She’s also considering picking up a part-time job, though with 11 children and the youngest at only five years old, that’s a tall order.
But Ramsey wasn’t buying the “sports are the problem” line. He told the caller that the issue wasn’t the cost of soccer or gymnastics: It was the couple’s lack of communication. In short, the activities aren’t the problem, “they’re the symptom.” The system, according to Ramsey, is the problem.
What did Ramsey recommend?
Ramsey’s advice was simple but direct: Stop the blame game and start acting like a team.
“You can’t be passive and say, ‘Well, she did this,’” he told the caller. “No, she didn’t do it — you stood there and watched it.”
According to Ramsey, the couple’s real challenge isn’t overspending, it’s that they aren’t making decisions together. They need a shared budget and a plan to prevent overspending.
“We are going to get on a system where we decide together where our money is going. You get a vote, I get a vote,” he said. “We’ve got to come into alignment and it’s got to be on less than we make.”
A lack of alignment on finances between couples is far from unique. Money tensions remain a major stress point for many Canadian couples. One 2025 survey found 42% of Canadians have experienced financial disagreements with their partner (2). And these conflicts can stretch beyond arguments, with as many as 11% saying these disagreements have seriously affected their relationship, with some even considering separation or divorce.
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Financial pressure can put serious strain on a relationship — and it’s not specific to any one income level. In Canada, money has become one of the top sources for stress between couples — a 2025 survey by FP Canada found that 47% of those polled said money was the main source of stress, ranking above health, work or relationships (3).
In other words, financial strain is more than just an economic problem — it’s a relationship issue, too.
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How to have tough financial conversations with your partner
Money issues don’t disappear on their own. Couples must regularly communicate about their financial situation and goals. And the best way to have those conversations is early, honestly and often.
Here are some ways to have more productive money conversations:
- Start the conversation before it’s a crisis. Ideally, before marriage, but if you're already sharing expenses, set a monthly “money date” to review income, expenses and goals. Ongoing money talks help prevent resentment from building up.
- Stay curious, and try not to get defensive. Ask how your partner feels about debt, saving or spending — and listen without judgement.
- Focus on shared goals. Whether it’s paying off debt, funding post-secondary education or retiring early, identify what matters most to both of you and create a plan together to make it happen. It will build your connection when both partners feel shared ownership over the goals.
- Agree on boundaries. Set a limit for how much each partner can spend before it should become a joint decision. Depending on your income, that might be $10, $50 or $100.
- Revisit and revise your financial plan over time. Life changes — you might switch jobs, have children or simply adjust your priorities — so the budget will need to evolve, too.
- If you’re struggling, consider seeking mediation. A couples counsellor or financial advisor can help de-escalate blame and rebuild communication patterns to keep money talks productive.
At the end of the day, it’s not you against your partner. It’s you and your partner versus the problem. When both people see money as a shared responsibility instead of a source of blame, it becomes easier to turn financial stress into teamwork — and that’s true whether you have one child or 11.
Article sources
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
The Ramsey Show Highlights/YouTube (1); Money Mentors (2); FP Canada (3)
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Danielle Antosz is a business and personal finance writer based in Ohio and a freelance contributor to Moneywise. Her work has appeared in numerous industry publications including Business Insider, Motley Fool, and Salesforce. She writes about financial topics that matter to everyday people, including retirement, debt reduction and investing.
