in our free newsletter.

Thousands benefit from our email every week.

My money-minded predictions are whimsically woven from church basement finance clubs, futuristic AI forecasts, prophetic dream revelations, and the brainwaves of my psychic pets network.

So, let's explore what the universe has in store for your financial well-being this week.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Money's calling, Aries! And it's saying, "Check under those couch cushions." Who knows? You might just fund your next coffee run with the treasure you find.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Hello, Taurus! This week, your snack cravings are high, but your vending machine trust is low. Remember, shaking the machine is not an approved financial strategy.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Hey Gemini, good luck making financial decisions this week. You'll change your mind more times than you change your Netflix password. Spoiler: You'll end up saving by default.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Cancers, get ready to stumble upon a gift card you forgot you had. It's like finding a twenty in your winter coat, but less cash and more, "Oh, I guess I'm shopping here."

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Leos, your cat will find money this week. No, it's not starting its hedge fund, it just found some loose change in the corner of your closet.

Read more: If you're a savvy cardholder, you'll have multiple credit cards. But how many is too many?

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Virgo, your attention to detail finally pays off. You'll find an accounting error in your favor. It's like winning the lottery, but with way less money and way more spreadsheets.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Libras, you'll achieve perfect balance this week, only to realize you've been writing cheques with a pen that has disappearing ink. So much for leaving a paper trail.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Scorpio, you'll find a foreign coin this week. It's not going to fund your retirement, but it might buy you a bubble gum in another dimension.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Sagittarius, your quest for hidden treasure leads you to the depths of your couch. Spoiler: You'll find more lint than lucrative assets.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn, a forgotten rebate cheque surfaces. It's small, but you'll feel like the Wolf of Wall Street (if the Wolf did minimal investment and maximum coupon clipping).

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Aquarius, your innovative spirit has you crafting a piggy bank out of recyclables. Spoiler: It holds more dreams than dollars.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces, you're swimming in minor riches when you return those overdue library books. The catch? Your windfall is slightly offset by the library's "generous" late fees.

Madame Villamere’s Financial Astrology Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only — your wallet's destiny is in your hands, not the stars! Invest with joy and a grain of cosmic salt.

Sponsored

Trade Smarter, Today

With a wide variety of investment chocies, CIBC Edge makes it easy for you to trade how you want, when you want.

About the Author

JC Villamere

JC Villamere

Digital Editor

As a two-time National Magazine Award winner, Villamere has made her mark in the media industry, formerly serving as a senior editor at Canadian Living. Her work spans a variety of publications, including The Globe and Mail, The Toronto Star, Canadian Living, Style at Home, Elle Canada, Flare, and ET Canada. Vulture hailed her debut book “Is Canada Even Real: How a Nation Built on Hobos, Beavers, Weirdos, and Hip Hop Convinced the World to Beliebe,” as one of the best comedy books of the year.

What to Read Next

What happens to your social media if you die

Maybe you've never thought about it, but your social media accounts don't simply disappear when you die. Find out what your options are for some of the major social media platforms and make a plan for when you eventually log off for good.

Disclaimer

The content provided on Money.ca is information to help users become financially literate. It is neither tax nor legal advice, is not intended to be relied upon as a forecast, research or investment advice, and is not a recommendation, offer or solicitation to buy or sell any securities or to adopt any investment strategy. Tax, investment and all other decisions should be made, as appropriate, only with guidance from a qualified professional. We make no representation or warranty of any kind, either express or implied, with respect to the data provided, the timeliness thereof, the results to be obtained by the use thereof or any other matter.