What is the three date rule?
The three date rule (aka: 3-date rule) suggests that the third date offers the ideal opportunity for potential partners to initiate greater intimacy. The idea is that by the third date, both partners will have a much higher comfort level and a better appreciation of where they’d like to take the relationship.
While this rule is more of a guideline, some statistical evidence suggests that waiting until the third date — or longer — can help improve the quality of a relationship. In a 2014 study, authors Brian Willoughby, Jason Carroll and Dean Busby concluded that “waiting to initiate sexual intimacy in unmarried relationships was generally associated with positive outcomes.”
As a result, you may feel the need to spend outside of your means in order to make sure that this dating milestone is memorable and will set this budding relationship on a positive trajectory.
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Get A QuoteHow the 3-date rule can hurt
For those dating in Canada, the three date rule can be helpful, but it can also add a sense of urgency and implied importance to the third date. This can be a problem as the added pressure can lead to dashed expectations, blown budgets, or both. In fact, 56% of Canadians say the rising cost of living is affecting their ability to date, with many going on fewer dates, according to a recent survey from the BMO Real Financial Progress Index.
Moreover, 38% saying the costs associated with dating have affected their ability to reach their financial goals.
To set realistic expectations and reduce the pressure to be intimate before you are ready, it’s best to set clear boundaries, explains dating and relationship expert founder of LoveQuestCoaching, Lisa Concepcion, in an interview with Cosmopolitan.
On the flip side, you’ll need to set dating financial boundaries to avoid depleting your cash reserves while looking for love — don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Building on previous trends, singles continue to prioritize financial transparency in dating. Setting financial boundaries remains a key consideration for many, ensuring that dating experiences are both enjoyable and responsible.
This trend towards fiscal responsibility while searching for love isn't new. In fact, the BMO survey also revealed the financial traits single Canadians find attractive, including a sense of financial responsibility (95%), the ability to discuss their finances with their partner (88%), having a good financial plan (87%) and having a successful career trajectory (83%), showing that the concept of blowing the budget in the pursuit of love is starting fade.
How to set dating financial boundaries
Setting a financial boundary can be uncomfortable but necessary. Consider it a critical skill that’s required to accomplish bigger financial goals.
To set a financial boundary, you need to establish and stick to limits, which are dictated by your current budget and future goals.
For dating, this includes setting a cap on the amount of money you spend on transit, food, entertainment, gifts and even an outfit. For most single Canadians who go on dates, the average cost per outing is $173 — per BMO statistics — which can quickly become financially burdensome if these grand gestures become expectations when going out.
Setting a date budget
To set dating financial boundaries, start with establishing a date budget. Once you know what you’re willing to spend, you can narrow down your options.
To help, consider making a list of restaurants based on price points and always check out the menu online, so you know exactly what to order ahead of time and can estimate what the total bill will cost. Do the same for entertainment options.
By doing this research beforehand, you can easily build out ideas for each date that fit your dating financial boundaries.
Recent trends indicate that singles are embracing more authentic and casual dating experiences. According to Bumble's 2025 Global Dating Trends, 41% of singles prefer genuine connections over extravagant dates.
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Find Your Card NowDating in Canada: 3 cheap date ideas, plus tips for keeping costs down
If you're seeking third date ideas that are both memorable and budget-friendly, here are three strategies. Just remember, to keep within your budget, it’s best to do some research before setting off for a romantic soiree.
No. 1: Take it outdoors
One great strategy to keep costs lower is to set up an outdoor date, as it eliminates many budget-buster temptations, such as buying a better bottle of wine or staying for another round of cocktails. To make the most of an outdoors date, make sure you know the weather and have a backup plan — oh, and let your date know so they can dress appropriately.
A few suggestions for outdoor dates include:
- Take in a free concert
- Go to a free festival
- Visit a local Farmer's Market
- Explore a new neighbourhood
- A park and a picnic
- Set up a scavenger hunt
- Spend the day at the beach or lake
- Go for a hike
- Rent a tandem bike
No. 2: Unconventional entertainment
While dinner and a movie or a late-night cocktail are often the standard go-to date ideas, there are plenty of other options. As such, it pays to keep in mind the unconventional entertainment options that can make for a great date.
A few suggestions include:
- Art galleries
- Roller skating
- Ice skating
- Board game cafe
- Aquarium
- Bowling
No. 3: Stay home
By the third date, you may want to try a more intimate setting — a few suggestions include:
- Cook dinner together
- Watch a movie (great option if you have a good home theatre)
- Download a karaoke app and sing the night away
- Make mocktails/cocktails together
- Play board games or solve a puzzle together
BONUS: When dating in Canada, you need to tap those deals
For those still interested in the more traditional date options, there are ways to cut costs. The best way is to tap deals, use loyalty programs and look for ways to subsidize your dating costs. To help, here are three strategies:
Strategy #1: Use Scene points or go to a movie on cheap Tuesday
If you’re a movie fan, chances are you already collect Scene points — the loyalty program for Cineplex that lets you collect points that can be traded in for free movie tickets and concession snacks. To maximize your Scene points, consider using a Scene+ credit card, such as Scotiabank’s Scene Visa card. For every dollar spent on the card, you earn Scene+ points (or earn more by shopping at select retailers). For some cards, if you meet a minimum monthly spend you get free movie tickets — perfect for date night!
You can also reduce the cost of your movie date night by agreeing to out on ‘Cheap Tuesday’ — the day Cineplex and Landmark theatres offer discounted movie tickets.
Strategy #2: Use loyalty programs or work perks to get cheaper tickets
Some loyalty programs offer access to discounted tickets. For instance, RBC customers (along with a number of Canadian employees) get free Perkopolis memberships, where they an buy discounted tickets for major attractions across North America, including Toronto’s Royal Ontario Museum (ROM).
Another option is looking for deals using coupon sites like Groupon or shopping using deal sites, such as Capital One Shopping or Swagbucks.
Strategy #3: Use cashback to reduce overall costs
Even with a dating budget, it’s a good idea to maximize potential savings when it comes to spending on a potential partner. One easy way to do this is to use a cash back credit card for all dating expenditures.
For example, if you were to use a credit card that earned 2% cash back on every purchase made on your date — and you set a dating budget of $500 per month — after a year, you would accrue $120 in cashback earnings.
Bottom line
There’s hope for single Canadians looking for love in 2025. If your goal is to snag that special someone without going broke, concentrate on setting your financial and personal limits. The more honest and committed you are to yourself and your own goals, the more attractive you may be to a potential partner.
Sources
1. National Library of Medicine: Differing relationship outcomes when sex happens before, on, or after first dates (Nov 2, 2012)
2. Cosmopolitan: If You've Made It to the Third Date, Here's Everything You Should Know and Expect (July 5, 2021)
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